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“My Crazy Beautiful Life”

Well, I have said this numerous times this year, 2020, will be remembered for the strange events that took place.  One moment, I had a trajectory of many events that would take place in ministry, then the next moment, not having one that would continue.  New words entered my vocabulary like pandemic, zoom, online schooling, and cancer.  Unplanned events arriving like two surgeries, one for the aneurysm in my brain and the other for the gallbladder, to now a mystery cancer.  We went from four of us living in my home to five.

Travelling in the summer has always been a family tradition. This year we stayed close to home.  I enjoyed the many bike rides on paths within our city and slower walks into the park enjoying the beauty all around, and, most of all, early mornings watching the sunrise while eating Icelandic yogurt and honey. Each one, the crazy and the beautiful are enough to take my breath away at times.  

I have given my life a title this year, “My Crazy Beautiful Life.”  The above picture is perfect to have as an visual of this title (the photo was taken at Wilson’s greenhouse.)

Every day, week and month have brought a new word or phrase to ponder. Each one offered the opportunity to walk away from God or to draw near. The choice was mine and still is on what direction I will take. A few of the words and phrases have been: Forgiveness, release, rest, wonder, afraid, it is what it is, and one that has been with me for years, pay attention.  I call these words house guests.  Sometimes they stay for a few hours, leave, and come back later, or they do not come back at all.  Some stay for weeks and others for years.  This life offers each of us opportunities to be broken open to eternal wisdom. Whether we show hospitality to our house guest is a choice we make.

I have decided to continue writing thoughts for the Emmanuel Senior Blog as I journey through cancer, however it is important to note, the posts may not be every Monday but when the spirit leads me to write.

Murray and I have been using driving out into the country on the weekends as a time not only to take in all the beauty around us, but also to process the craziness that has entered into our personal stories. This weekend we found ourselves back out on Floral road heading to Pike Lake.  Robertson’s was rocking it with many families gathered to find the perfect pumpkin like the gatherings at Christmas to find precisely the right tree. I must say this is one of the largest pumpkins I have had.

Cancer is not a house guest I thought I would have come this year, but it is here with us, and now my choice is will I let it lead me closer to the one who knows the way through this extremely dark time. My choice is cancer will not have the last say on how my life will unfold, it is my choice to hand over my life to the one who will have the last word. 

“Come and see a man who has told me everything I’ve done.”  John 4:29

For my closing prayer, I would like to leave you with this blessing by J. Philip Newell:

On my heart and on my house the blessings of God.  In my coming and in my going the peace of God.  In my life and in my seeking the love of God. At my end and new beginning the arms of God to welcome me and bring me home.

I have reflected upon this poem by Rumi titled, House Guest often over the years. Every time I read through this poem, I am reminded to show hospitality to whatever maybe my guest during this season of my crazy beautiful life.

I really enjoy emails and text messages, so if you would like to connect, that would be a blessing.  I may be quick to reply, or at times, maybe not so quick, but please know your messages mean a lot to me.  My email: robin@ebap.ca or for texting 306-281-5205. A special thank you to those who have reached out and connected.

Blessings, and Stay Safe,

Robin


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